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Spiritual Habits for Real People

Chapter 10
The Spiritual Habit of Retreating

I’m a child of nuclear energy. My dad worked on the Hanford Reservation in Washington State, home of a number of nuclear reactors. As I write this, only one of the reactors is still “online” at Hanford, The Columbia Generating Station or what we locals call WPPSS 2 (pronounced Whoops 2). The Columbia plant is a nuclear generating, though only a few of the reactors at Hanford were coupled with generators. Nonetheless, in its day, the Hanford Reservation was home to some of the highest-tech plutonium makers and uranium users on the planet.

Today, there are just over one hundred nuclear power plants in USAmerica and about twenty in Canada. Each of these plants are heavily regulated and monitored by their nation’s regulating agencies, and each of these plants has to shut down about every eighteen months for maintenance at a cost of roughly $1 million per day. Now, $1 million dollars per day is a lot of money being spent on something that’s taking a break. But the cost of not taking a break and performing diagnostics and doing maintenance is much higher. In 1986, the Chernobyl nuclear plant in the Ukraine literally blew it’s roof off. The explosion created a radiation fire that burned for ten days and nearly two hundred tons of toxic, radiated material flew into the atmosphere, seriously contaminating over seven million people. The accident claimed thirty-one lives within the first three months of the explosion, but the final toll will probably never be known as radiation-related illnesses, diseases, and deaths continue even twenty years later. So far, the accident has cost an estimated $350 billion in damages.1

Reactors need to be taken offline for regular maintenance – they need a break. And so do we.

In our spiritual power metaphor, we don’t generate any spiritual power. We have to tap into the Power that God sends our way to charge and operate our spiritual circuits. However, a careful examination of the Divine Power Grid’s schematics reveals that we are the weakest link. No matter how solid our connection in the Divine Grid, no matter how good and faithful we may be, our spiritual circuits can overheat and cause a spiritual meltdown. In the last chapter, we talked about the need for diagnostics with the help of a technician (accountability partner). Accountability works to keep the power of God flowing through us consistently. And though accountability and confession are powerful diagnostic and maintenance programs, in the end, they aren’t enough. As costly as it might seem, we have to take ourselves “offline” regularly for some heavy-duty re-creation. In this chapter, you’ll learn about the most effective spiritual maintenance programs: the spiritual habit of retreating.

 

The Need for Retreating

Bernie Krause is a bioacoustician who has been recording the sounds of nature for over forty years. His work has taken him all over the world, from pole to pole, to record natural soundscapes. But what was once a rather simple task has become increasingly complex. Listen to his story:

For those unfamiliar with my work, I have spent more than half of my 62 years recording the sounds of living organisms and natural habitats. To me, this is the most beautiful music on the planet. It is also its collective voice. Armed with various types of sound recorders, a pair of earphones and various microphones, I search out rare undisturbed sites, set up my equipment, and sit quietly and patiently for hours waiting for this symphony of the natural world to unfold before me, all to capture those precious moments on tape... In 1968, when I first began my odyssey, I could record for about 15 hours and capture about one hour of useable sound – a ratio of about 15 to 1. Now it takes nearly 2,000 hours to obtain one hour of untainted natural sound. Why the change? The main cause is the unimaginable loss of representative habitats. The second reason is the increase of human mechanical noise that tends to mask the subtle aural textures of the remaining environments.2

Escaping the noise of “civilization” has become increasingly more difficult. As Krause point out, there are fewer places we can go to escape the noise we make; besides, we’re making more noise.

Take a moment to pause and listen around you. What do you hear? At this moment while writing this I hear a song playing in the background, a fish tank gurgling, a car going by, and the computer fan. I’m also aware it’s raining outside, there’s a gentle breeze, and birds are occasionally visiting the feeders – but I can hear none of the “natural” sounds.

Then there’s the noise inside our heads, the seemingly never-ending white noise of random thoughts that drift through our minds. Most of the time we may not notice them, at least not until we try to be still. Then they’re an annoyance as we try to turn them off.

In 1 st Kings, there’s an apt story about noise, activity, and hearing God through it all.

When he got there, he crawled into a cave and went to sleep. Then the word of GOD came to him: “So Elijah, what are you doing here?” “I’ve been working my heart out for the GOD–of–the–Angel–Armies,” said Elijah. “The people of Israel have abandoned your covenant, destroyed the places of worship, and murdered your prophets. I’m the only one left, and now they’re trying to kill me.” Then he was told, “Go, stand on the mountain at attention before GOD. GOD will pass by.” A hurricane wind ripped through the mountains and shattered the rocks before GOD, but GOD wasn’t to be found in the wind; after the wind an earthquake, but GOD wasn’t in the earthquake; and after the earthquake fire, but GOD wasn’t in the fire; and after the fire a gentle and quiet whisper. When Elijah heard the quiet voice, he muffled his face with his great cloak, went to the mouth of the cave, and stood there. A quiet voice asked, “So Elijah, now tell me, what are you doing here?” (1 Kings 19:9–13 The Message)

The hurricanes, earthquakes, and fires of our lives demand our attention, whether at work or at home. These aren’t just the crises that press in around us, they’re also all those activities we didn’t say “No!” to.3 Through it all, the noise of our everyday existence can drown out the words and the work of God. Hearing God through our busyness can be difficult at best and impossible at times. If we’re going to be serious about hearing the whispering Spirit, we need to retreat to the quiet places, as Elijah did, to be still and to listen.

Noise isn’t the only reason for retreating. Every day, Practicing Christians are called to give a little bit of their power to others in the name of the Divine. The Power stored in our spiritual batteries drains ever-so-slightly whenever we respond to the needs of others. Each time we offer words of comfort and encouragement, our spiritual light shines and a little bit of our spiritual power is used up. We give up some of our power each time we make a decision based on our faith. And sometimes it takes almost all the power we have to faithfully deal with a difficult task or a difficult person,. As our spiritual battery drains we begin to feel a spiritual malaise, a nagging tiredness in our soul that even times of regular prayer simply doesn’t satisfy. And the more spiritual fatigue we feel, the more likely we are to “lose our Christianity” and do or say something we’ll regret later. Before our faith (and our patience) becomes overtaxed we need to get away, to retreat, so we can be fully recharged and allow the Divine mend and minister to our spirit. The fact is, like Chernobyl, if we aren’t taken offline regularly, we’re apt to explode or have a meltdown.

I want to offer one last reason why the spiritual habit of retreating is a necessary practice in the life of every Practicing Christian: You are a human being.

When God appeared to Moses in the burning bush, the two had a conversation about delivering the Israelites from their enslavement in Egypt. In the midst of the conversation, Moses asked God, “What if the Israelites ask me your name? What shall I tell them?” God replied, “I Am Who I Am. Tell them I Am sent you.”

We were created in the image of God. I don’t think anyone fully understands and embraces what that means, but we get a tiny peek at one facet when we read the creation account in Genesis 2. When God breathed into Adam, the scriptures tell us that humans became nephesh chaya, which is Hebrew for living being. As living beings we might say “I be who I be,” which would be bad grammar, but pretty good theology – we were indeed created in God’s image.

Here’s the point. God created us as beings. God was, and still is, more interested in who we are than in what we do. We “become” by being, not by doing. It’s when we are able to walk in the Diving Presence in the warmth of the morning or the cool of the evening – and in the quiet of both – that our heart is regenerated, our spiritual batteries are recharged, and we hear the gentle, quiet whisper of the Spirit. And though we can “be” wherever and whenever, when our spirit and soul is tired, we best become when we retreat from the noise, the pressure, and the appointments that we call life.

 

The Spiritual Habit of Retreating

If you were raised in the church, the word “Retreat” may bring back memories of rustic youth or family camps with mosquitoes, campfire testimonies, bunk beds, group showers, high-carb foods, and what we lovingly called “bug–juice,” Kool–Aid® with about half the sugar and twice the water the packets called for. Many adult Christians admit that it was during one of these outdoor experiences when they first felt the movement of the Spirit as it gently blew through their hearts and God became real for them. For most, it’s a fond, warm and fuzzy memory from their past. My soul-moving experience was on a Friday morning when our camp counselor got us up while it was still dark and led us up the side of a clear-cut mountain for devotionals. As I sat on a stump with my open Bible, I watched as the sky began to brighten the wispy clouds that reflected stunning colors from magenta to violet, and light pink to plum. As the sun crested the horizon, the light pierced my soul as the Spirit captured my heart. God was real, and though I’d always believed, my worldview was rocked from faith to assurance.

On the other hand, the thought of going back to Camp Pleasant Valley and sleeping on a plastic-covered mattress again somehow just doesn’t do it for me. Fond, warm fuzzy memories? Definitely. But I’m not thinking I’d have the same kind of experience today. I need a setting a bit less rustic.

Traditionally, spiritual retreating has taken all kinds of forms in all kinds of places. There are guided or self-guided retreats. They’re held at hermitages, monasteries, convents, camps, lodges, and commercial retreat centers. And there are retreats you can “go on” without leaving your home or your office.

For the sake of clarity, this section is divided in two parts based on the retreat locataion. Retreating Inward suggests retreats that especially appeal to very busy people who have used up all their vacation time and never get a weekend off, so leaving on a retreat isn’t an option just yet. Now, if you’re that busy, this isn’t going to be a long-term solution. But Retreating Inward can get you by for a time. It’s also very helpful for those who need an interlude between their regularly scheduled retreats. Retreating Outward suggests retreats that require you go away somewhere. These are the retreats that will effectively recharge and restore your soul.

 

Retreating Inward

If this is your first introduction to retreats, I hope this section is less appealing to you than the next. There really is nothing that can replace taking yourself off-line in a tranquil setting and just being. However, we all need to retreat from the pressures and concerns of our lives at times when it may not be convenient or conducive to taking an hour off, let alone a couple of days. Sometimes we need a brief inward retreat that allows us to get refocused, recentered, and/or tend to our woundedness. For those times, I suggest one of the following two inward retreats. The first is a micro-retreat you can use in the middle of your day and lasts only a couple of minutes. The second is a mini-retreat that you can use when you need to take yourself off-line, but you can’t get away.

 

Micro-Retreats

Small Time Commitment

Crowd Friendly

Not Multi-Task Friendly

In 1985, a soap, bath, and spa company, began running a series of alluring television commercials. We were introduced to “Every-Mom” who was obviously having a bad day. Her hair was uncoiffed, the dog tracked mud across the once spotlessly white living room carpet, the kid were making a mess, dinner was burning, and only then did the phone start to ring. In the moment just before she became an axe murderer, she looked to the heavens and cried out, “Calgon!® Take me away...” The next scene showed our serenely smiling Every-Mom in a bathtub of hot running water with scented bubbles caressing her shoulders. Clearly her cares had melted away as she relaxed during her unscheduled and unplanned retreat in the tub.

Oh that it only were that easy. What you don’t get to see in the commercial was that while Every-Mom was taking her forty-five minute soak, the dinner went from burned to charcoal which set off all the smoke alarms, causing the dog to frantically dig a hole under the front door, thus ruining the carpet, and the kids ended up in the custody of Child Protection Services. Unscheduled and unplanned retreats may cause unexpected havoc in your day – especially if your supervisor finds you luxuriating in a tub of bubbles instead of making that scheduled sales presentation you’d been stressing about.

On the other hand, there are times when we feel like Every-Mom in the commercial. We need to get away, and we need to get away NOW!

When you’ve got to escape, and you’ve got to escape NOW! I recommend the micro-retreat. Micro-retreats aren’t new, though they’ve gaining popularity as stress becomes more problematic in our culture. In a nutshell, a micro-retreat is a two-minute or so pilgrimage into the Divine Presence. Busy people tend to like micro-retreats because you can practice them not just once a day, but as often as you need.

You only need between two and five minutes of uninterrupted time to take a micro-retreat. You can take on a micro-retreat in your office, on the bus, in your living room, or in a crowd. Wherever you are, a successful micro-retreat depends on your ability to devote 100 percent of your focus to the exercise.

There are three stages of an effective micro-retreat: Retreat, Refocus, and Reengage. Before you begin, take the phone off the hook, turn your cell phone ring-tone off, and get comfortable. You can sit, stand, or lay prostrate as your need, setting, or mood dictate.

For you shall go out in joy,
And be led forth in peace.
The mountains and the hills before you break forth in singing;
The trees of the fields clap their hands.

Instead of the thorn shall come cypress;
Myrtle shall bloom in place of brier.
And it shall be to the Lord for a memorial
An everlasting sign that shall not die.

Once you’ve finished these moments of worship, prayer, and thanksgiving, you will be able to face your day with a renewed heart and mind.

 

Mini-Retreats

Takes Significant Time

Solitude Helpful

Not Multi-Task Friendly

Edward Hays, a Roman Catholic priest, has at least two spiritual gifts he has shared with the world. First, it appears that he is intimately acquainted with completive prayer and is able to lead others in these practices. Second, he is able to communicate those practices through his writings and make his readers hungry for those prayer through the amazing parables and stories he writes.

I am particularly fond of the story and parables in St. George and the Dragon and the Quest for the Holy Grail.6 In the story, George feels a holy calling to go on a quest – his inner spirit yearns for the presence of God and a purpose in life. He sets out, but only gets as far as his garage when a dragon “drops in.” The dragon and George get acquainted and soon the dragon launches into a story, well, a parable really. When he finishes, George ponders the meaning and decides he doesn’t actually have to leave home to go on a Divine quest – he and the dragon can journey together right there from home. So, he tidies up a space in his garage and every Saturday he kisses his wife goodbye and disappears into the sacred space to meet his companion. And each week, the dragon shares another parable for George to ponder and apply on his quest.

George’s newfound spiritual practice is, in fact, a mini-retreat. Whereas micro-retreats take only a few minutes, a mini-retreat requires a larger investment of time. George gave the whole of his Saturdays for his quest. The practice I’m introducing needs at least four hours, though if you can do a whole day the rewards are greatly increased. Like any good investment, whatever you put into it will determine what you get out of it.

Although George traveled weekly on his quest, most who engage in mini-retreats do so less frequently. A number of spiritual directors suggest that Practicing Christians should set aside one day each month for a personal retreat such as this. Although I would encourage you to do a mini-retreat monthly, I would also caution against blocking time out on your calendar until you’ve practiced this spiritual habit a couple of times.

Practicing a mini-retreat takes more preparation than a micro-retreat. First, you will need a place to go where you can truly be alone. Try to “commandeer” some space at home you can call your own every now and again: an unused bedroom, a study, a corner of the garage, or even a garden shed that you can put a chair and a small writing desk into. You should only use your living or dining room when there is absolutely nowhere else to go; the distractions in these rooms are far too enticing. If you don’t live alone, the interruptions in these shared spaces will be plenteous, thus making the retreat difficult at best.

You will need to furnish whatever space you find with a comfortable chair, a writing desk or table, and whatever “sacred” objects that appeal to your senses such as candles, incense, icons, crosses, prayer mats, prayer beads, etc. (you can also choose to embrace austerity and not use any sacred objects). I like to take a cracker and juice with me so I can celebrate communion. You will also need a Bible, your journal (or paper) and a pen. I also suggest taking a couple bottles of water with you. If you’re going retreat for the whole day, you may want to take lunch with you; alternatively you may choose to fast. And finally, you will want to check the weather report – if it’s going to be chilly and/or rainy, take a jacket and umbrella in with you for later use.

What you shouldn’t take on your mini-retreat is as important as what you should take. I’ve been on many retreats and watched with a great sadness as would-be retreatants arrive with their laptop computers, PDAs, MP3 players, books they want to “catch up on,” and/or sheaves of work stuffed into their overnight bags. These men and women bring their busyness with them and thus miss the point of retreating – to shut down. An effective retreatant brings four things to a retreat: (1) A Bible; (2) A journal; (3) Clothing/toiletries if the retreat will last more than one day; and (4) An expectant heart. For a mini-retreat, add the chair, desk, and sacred objects. Everything else should be left outside of your space – there will be enough distractions as it is.

Mini-retreats are self-directed, unless a friendly dragon happens to volunteer as your personal guide. But a self-directed retreat isn’t an extemporaneous retreat – you will generally need some sort of schedule. Though the goal isn’t to fill up your retreat time with a laundry list of “holy” things to do, the reality is, if you don’t have a plan, you’ll either be tempted to abandon your commitment, to take a nice nap, or to pick up some sort of a project like designing an extension for the house.

There are a variety of materials for self-directed retreats available. An Internet search for “self-guided retreats” or “self-directed retreats” will produce enough materials to keep you busy for every week for the rest of your life.7 There are, of course, many books available with new ones being published regularly. Personally, I like the classic A Guide to Prayer for Ministers and Other Servants.8 Besides providing a rich variety of daily prayers and readings, it offers twelve different one-day retreat outlines that I’ve found quite helpful in my travels.

Many self-directed retreat outlines assume you have some particular issue you plan to work through such as grief or anxiety. A few are more general in scope. Below is a basic outline for general self-directed retreat that is similar to the micro-retreat outline. Notice that you can use it for either a four hour or an all day retreat.

 

Retreat

As you enter the space where you will be spending your retreat time, unpack all the “tools” you brought with you and arrange them to your liking. Make sure your Bible, journal, and pen are conveniently available, that you have water, and you’ve “decorated” with your sacred objects according to your needs. If you will be taking communion later, prepare it, but set it aside for now.

Begin your time by asking God’s blessing on your retreat time as well asking the Spirit’s Presence and protection over the space. Some like to remind themselves that the space they are dedicating to God becomes holy ground, so they take off their shoes as they enter. Begin your prayer time by reading Psalm 24 aloud and then adding your own prayers to the proclamation of the psalmist.

See Chapter 3 if you need instructions.

 

Refocus

Begin your refocusing time by praying Psalm 19. In this psalm, the plea for God’s presence through the Word cannot be overemphasized. I suggest praying the psalm aloud as a verbal commitment to reading and internalizing the scripture.

If you have not already chosen a portion from the Bible to read, choose one now. For your first retreat, I recommend the Sermon on the Mount found in Matthew 5–7.9 To make the most out of your retreat, read through the whole scripture portion at one time. This will help you get an overview of the theme. Once you’ve completed reading the whole passage, you may want to continue the retreat by skipping the Lexio Divina and engage in journaling. Otherwise, read the passage again; however, this time only read one section.10 For instance, if you are reading the Sermon on the Mount, read Matthew 5:1–12.

Next take the time to pray and reflect on the passage using the Lexio Divina found in Chapter 4.

Once you’ve spent time reading, praying, and meditating on the passage, take some time to write your reflections. You may want to use the R 3 journaling practice, but I would recommend taking the extra time to work through the Discovery Devotional Questions. When you use the Discovery Devotional Questions, you are apt to spend considerable time listening to the Spirit and applying the scriptures to your life.

At this point, you’ve been reading, praying, and writing for quite some time. Your body and your mind both need a break. Put your shoes on, if you’ve removed them, and if the weather demands it, slip your jacket on and go for a mindful walk.

Mindful walking, however, is not like a typical walk. Most times when we go for a walk we either have a destination in mind, or else we are walking for our cardiovascular health. Mindful walking is unlike either. Mindful walking is to have nowhere to go and to be mindful of your journey. Begin your mindful walk by taking a moment for centering prayer, and then begin to walk. As you take each step, practice being present to your surroundings. Call yourself into awareness of the sounds, the smells, and sights around you. Focus less on the big picture and more on the details. See the plants, the birds, the squirrels, and the neighbor’s dog. Smile at those you pass, but try to avoid conversations (unless the Spirit nudges you). Your objective is to simply “be” in the Divine Presence and “be” present to the creation you experience.

As you walk, let your mind process and ponder the previous hours of prayer, study, and meditation. Don’t force your thoughts; instead, remain open to the Divine’s leading. As Jesus said, “The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit” (John 3:8 NRSV). So, be as one born of the Spirit and go mindfully wherever it leads. On the other hand, don’t go so far afield that you spend the remainder of your retreat time trying to get home. Turn around when you’ve been walking for fifteen to thirty minutes, but continue to walk mindfully as you return.

When you return to your retreat space pray for the remaining time and again dedicate the space. You may want to remove your shoes as reminder that you’re standing on holy ground. Pray either Psalm 127 or 131 aloud as you return to your mini-retreat.

If you are engaging in a four-hour retreat, skip to Final Reflections, Communion, and Closing Prayer.

For an eight hour retreat, engage in centering, scripture reading, the Lexio Divina, and journaling. This time, however, read a different portion of the scriptures for your reading and reflection time (if you are continuing your first retreat, read Matthew 6:19–34).

 

Reengage

As your mini-retreat time comes to a close, spend about thirty minutes in silent reflection and prayer. Ponder what you have heard the Spirit say in your prayers, through the scriptures, and through your journaling. You may want to add an additional entry into your journal during this time. Then when you feel released from your reflection time, move into the communion or into your closing prayers.

To celebrate communion, place the bread and juice on the table in front of you and read the “words of institution” from 1 Corinthians 11:23-26. Tear the bread or break the cracker in two and eat a portion while remembering the sacrifice Jesus offered. Then take a sip of the juice, remembering Jesus’ shed blood as the new covenant. It is particularly appropriate to then pray the Great Thanksgiving, which is a traditional hymn of thanks from the early church.

Holy, Holy, Holy Lord,

God of power and might.

Heaven and earth are full of your glory.

Hosanna in the highest.

Blessed is he one who comes in the name of the Lord.

Hosanna in the highest.

Close your retreat time by praying Luke 2:29–32 aloud. This is the prayer of Simeon, a devout man who spent the latter part of his life in the Temple awaiting the Messiah. Your prayers of thanksgiving for the time spent with the Divine are echoed in Simeon’s words of blessing and departure.

As you leave the space made sacred by the Lord’s presence, take a moment to offer words of thanks to the Divine for the time you spent together. Some retreatants like to cross themselves, make a profound bow (a deep bow from the waist), or kneel for a moment as a final sign to mark the completion of the retreat and their reentrance into the flow of life.

As you reemerge from your spiritual space and into your daily life, take an hour or so to reacclimatize to your surroundings. Allow yourself some space before you leap into family or work time. The spiritual repairs you’ve made in the presence of the Divine are like glue that needs time to set before you put any strain on it. Give yourself permission to ease into the alternative reality of life.

Later, during the week, take a few moments to reread your retreat journal entries. This accomplishes two things. First, it reawakens the emotional and spiritual peace you experienced during your retreat. It also serves to remind you of any commitments you have made. Maintain your integrity by being faithful and honorable in keeping them. And finally, don’t forget that, like George and his quest, you can return for another retreat whenever you choose – as soon as tomorrow if you would like. It’s simply a matter of making it a priority in your life.

 

Retreating Outward

The word retreat means to withdraw, much as Jesus did when he withdrew to solitary places such as in the mountains or onto the Sea of Galilee. Although both micro- and mini-retreats can be powerful experiences, there is nothing that compares to a retreat that takes you away from your obligations and responsibilities. Whether you retreat to a mountain cabin, a beachfront cottage, or a Benedictine monastery, the time spent in the Divine Presence is enhanced by the beauty, tranquility, and holiness of the surroundings.

Retreating outward is the spiritual habit of going away on retreat. Sam Rima, the author of the landmark work Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership, suggests that all Practicing Christian leaders need at least two extended prayer retreats each year.11 These extended retreats won’t happen of their own volition – you have to schedule them and make plans well in advance. Further, since some of the most effective retreats are guided by a spiritual director or via a series of directed spiritual exercises, you may need to coordinate your retreat plans according to their schedule.

The retreats you will be introduced to here have origins that date back to the third century; others are modern by comparison going back only four hundred years. Each one, however, has the potential for a life-changing experience that will leave you hungry for more of the Lord’s Presence.

 

Directed Retreats

Christianity began as a movement that became, as all movements do, an institution. However, there have always been mavericks who have refused to wear the yoke of institutionalism and have struck out on their own. When Constantine made Christianity the new state religion of his empire, almost immediately he began to construct church buildings that mimicked the architecture and interior design of official government buildings. Although Christianity had managed without dedicated church buildings for nearly three hundred years, in short order the movement called Christianity became an institutionalized religion with basilicas and cathedrals popping up across the known world.

Not everyone embraced the new order, however. A steady stream of radicals retreated both from the churches and society at large to take up residence in the desert wilderness. Some lived alone as hermits, but others gathered together in community and thus the monastic movement was born. These men and women, known today as the Desert Abbas and Ammas (Fathers and Mothers), were admired for their spiritual wisdom and sage advice. Their notoriety spread throughout Christendom and soon there was a second stream of pilgrims flowing into the desert: men and women searching for spiritual direction.

Those who practice the spiritual habit of retreating outward most often hook-up with a spiritual director. A spiritual director is someone who, not unlike the monastics of the third century, have embraced and internalized a radical spirituality. With a variety of tools in their hands, spiritual directors regularly guide and direct retreatants to refreshing and healing streams of spiritual awareness.

Because there are so many different themes and styles of guided retreats that spiritual directors can choose from, it’s beyond the scope of this book to offer a compendium. However, I want to introduce you to three retreat formats.

 

Spiritual Director Directed

Takes Significant Time

Solitude Helpful

Not Multi-Task Friendly

This is the oldest of all the directed retreat models, dating back to the third century. The good news is that you have limited responsibilities for this retreat. You just have to make a connection with a spiritual director, decide how long your retreat will last, work out a schedule, and then show up. The bad news is that finding a spiritual director may not be an easy task – you wouldn’t want to let your fingers do the walking through the Yellow Pages to make such an important connection ... remember, you’ll be entrusting a portion of your spiritual growth to this woman or man.

There are two traditional paths for finding a suitable spiritual director. The first is by referral. If you have a friend who is engaged in spiritual direction, ask them if they’d recommend their director. This is one of the most reliable ways to find a spiritual director, since you’re getting first-hand information. However, even though seeking spiritual direction has gained in popularity the past few years, the fact is, finding someone you know who is currently engaged in spiritual direction may be a challenge. But you won’t know until you ask. Take a moment to reflect on who you know that has a deep spirituality that you admire, then pick up the phone and ask if they could recommend a spiritual director.

If you can’t find a direct referral, next try making a phone call to your pastor and ask. If that fails, typically you can call a local Episcopalian or Roman Catholic priest and ask them. Both of these traditions have deep roots in the ancient spirituality practices and will most likely have a few recommendations. But if even this fails, Spiritual Directors International has a website (www.sdiworld.org) that will help you make a connection with their regional coordinator. The coordinator will ask about your particular needs (make sure you mention you’re looking for a retreat director). Then they will offer at least two spiritual directors’ names and contact information.

However you go about making a connection, you will want to meet with a potential spiritual director in person to ensure the relationship is a match. Pay close attention to your first impressions – they’re typically spot-on. Ask some general questions to get to know each other better and then ask specific questions about their spiritual direction style. For instance, ask how they nurture their own spirituality. What spiritual habits do they personally keep? Are they working with a spiritual director themselves? How long have they been a spiritual director? If it seems like a match, take your calendar out and ask about retreat opportunities.

Another path for finding a spiritual director is to find a retreat center with a resident director. There are quite a number of retreat centers around the nation, so finding one shouldn’t be difficult.12 However, many find one of the most satisfactory ways is to make arrangements at their nearest monastery. It is perhaps not widely known that you needn’t be a Catholic to stay in a monastery guest house. Nor do you need to be Catholic to participate in a directed retreat in a monastic setting. Catholic monastics are quite adept at ecumenical, non-denominational spiritual direction. Most find it a privilege to serve as a spiritual director to those honestly seeking a deeper spiritual walk. Generally, scheduling a directed retreat at a monastery is as easy as picking up the phone and calling the local Archdioceses’ office. They will be able to put you in touch with the nearest monasteries.

Once you’ve made a connection with a spiritual director and have scheduled a directed retreat, it’s time to prepare yourself for the retreat. Some find it helpful to fast the day before the retreat in order to heighten the sense of anticipation. This also helps to focus your spirit on the Divine Presence so that when you begin your retreat you have less “noise” to contend with. Your packing list should include your Bible, journal, clothing, and toiletries. Some retreatants bring an additional book on prayer or some other spiritual discipline, and this book wouldn’t be a bad choice; however, limit yourself to a single book – or better still, no book at all. Don’t take anything that needs a cord or batteries. No laptops, radios, MP3 players, or PDAs. In fact, I would encourage you to even leave your cell phone either at home (you best choice) or in your car when you arrive. Finally, leave anything that even remotely looks like work. For instance, I have a tendency to “think” by making lists and plans on yellow writing pads, so I make an effort to leave even these at home, lest I start brainstorming some great idea I’ve had. If ever there was a time to not multi-task, it is on a retreat, so leave anything that could potentially distract you at home.

When you set out on a directed retreat such as this, you will be leaving the schedule in the hands of your spiritual director coupled with the community’s traditions if you are in a monastic setting. The director will probably spend some initial time with you to discern how best to direct you, make some recommendations, and then send you on your way. Generally, , you will meet with your director only once each day. They may give you specific assignments or they may offer some general thoughts for you to ponder on. The rest of the schedule will be in your hands, except for the retreat center’s schedule for meals and community prayer.

During the first few hours of your first retreat, you may feel like a bit disoriented and aimless; however, once you’ve met with your director or have come to terms with the retreat center’s schedule, you will find your retreat-legs and by the end of the first day you’ll be a seasoned retreatant.

I close this section with some common retreat practices used on directed retreats that will enhance your stay.

4:00 a.m.–Vigils
7:00 a.m.–Lauds (Morning Prayer) and Community Mass
8:00 a.m.–Breakfast
Noon–Midday Prayer, Dinner
1:45 p.m.–Afternoon Prayer
5:20 p.m.–Vespers (Evening Prayer)
6:15 p.m.–Supper
7:30 p.m.–Compline (Night Prayer)
8:00 p.m.–Retire

Each of the prayer times, Vigils, Lauds, Midday, Afternoon, Vespers, and Compline are community prayer times that may include chanting, singing, and scripture reading. Most monastic communities make it as easy as possible for guests to participate in the prayer and worship time. And though most retreat centers leave participation up to you, I recommend that you join in as often as you can. It may be difficult on your first day (night!) to get up at 3:45 in the morning for prayer, the discipline of rising for prayer and worship in community will significantly enhance your experience. Besides, look at the schedule. You’ll be in bed at eight!

 

The Ignatian Exercises Retreat

Takes Significant Time

Solitude Helpful

Not Multi-Task Friendly

Probably the best known retreat model is the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola. Written sometime in the early 1500s, the Exercises have been adopted and adapted throughout the centuries by Christians of all stripes. The Exercises use a variety of processes that employ the “three powers of the soul,”13 that is, the intellect, the will, and the heart. These powers are engaged though scripture study, “Imaging the Word,”14 making lists, worship, and other exercises the spiritual director might suggest.

The practice of the Exercises depends on deep engagement by the retreatant as they undertake an inventory of their sins coupled with meditation and contemplation exercises. This is followed by a prayerful contemplation of Jesus’ life, again dependant on deep prayer and meditation practices. The rest of the retreat explores in detail the decisions we make and how to align ourselves with the Lord in the choices we make. The retreat concludes with meditations on the love of God using a variety of spiritual practices.

The goal of the Exercises is to help us overcome our centricity and self-will and to establish a faithful discipline in our lives so we can be free from the influence of “any inordinate attachment.”15 Inordinate attachments are anything we are either obsessed with or unwilling to relinquish in our lives. This includes habits we can’t shake and whatever addictions we may have.

As you might surmise, overcoming our self-will and finding relief from inordinate attachments is a pretty tall order. And yet, that is exactly what Ignatius intended. The Exercises have endured in popular practice because, frankly, they are effective. However, there is a catch. The Exercises, when practiced in their fullness, require a twenty-eight day retreat (six days of exercises, one day of worship and rest each week). The retreatant meets with their spiritual director each morning and then engages in five different assignments, each one lasting at least an hour. And though many people engage in this traditional retreat, the fact is, most busy people can’t – or won’t – take that kind of time to develop their spirituality.

Now, before you decide to skip the rest of this section, let me assure you there are alternatives to the twenty-eight day format – and I’ll get to those in a moment. But before I do , let me add a plug for the twenty-eight day retreat. Busy people tend to live and die busy people. I nearly laughed aloud when I read a quote in the book The Overload Syndrome: “The executive who works from 7:00 A.M. to 7:00 P.M. everyday will be both very successful and fondly remembered by his widow’s next husband.”16 I nearly laughed. On reflection, there’s much truth in what he wrote. If you are committed to becoming a Practicing Christian who is fully connected to the Divine Power Grid, a month in your life is a small price to pay. As a friend of mine pointed out, if you ask a seventy-year-old whether a costly investment in their spiritual development when they were young would have been worth it, you seldom get a “No.” If it’s possible to engage in this kind of an investment, by all means, don’t dismiss the idea. Think about it, pray about it, and think about it some more. Wherever you are in your spiritual life, this is one of the few guaranteed investments you can make.

On the other hand, if you simply cannot invest a month of your life for your spiritual growth, as I promised, there are alternatives. Indeed, even Ignatius himself understood there were folks who couldn’t engage for five hours a day, seven days a week, over the span of a whole month. So he offered an alternative:

One who is educated or talented, but engaged in public affairs or necessary business, should take an hour and a half for the Spiritual Exercises. First, the end for which man is created should be explained to him, then for half an hour the Particular Examination of Conscience may be presented, then the General Examination of Conscience, and the method of confessing and of receiving Holy Communion.17

He goes on to outline a prayer and meditation course using the Exercises, but limiting each day’s practice to an hour or so. Ignatius’ alternative practice is just one of hundreds of options that have been developed over the past four hundred years. Some do the Exercises at home and meet with a spiritual director weekly. Others practice the Exercises in one-week installments over four years. Virtually every Catholic Archdioceses has information on local retreat centers, monasteries, and parishes that offer one form or another of the Exercises. Additionally, the Exercises have been adopted and adapted by many non-Catholic retreat centers across North America.

Finally, when all else fails, there are a couple of self-directed options that you could use on a personal retreat. If you decide to do the Exercises using a self-directed option, allow yourself at least three days for the practice. Then get a copy of the Exercises,18 read it through so you are familiar with various exercises (call a local monastery or a spiritual director if you have questions), and then make your way to a retreat center. You can use the mini-retreat presented earlier in this chapter as an outline, substituting the Refocusing section for the variety of exercises for each day.

 

Cursillo Retreats

Takes Significant Time

Group Activity

Not Multi-Task Friendly

If you speak Spanish, you’ll recognize cursillo as “short course.” In the 1940s, a group of Catholic men in Spain got together and dedicated themselves to helping young men in their city come to know Jesus better. They met together, talked, discussed, prayed, and planned. Late in the 40s they launched the first Cursillo. From there, it became a lay movement in the Roman Catholic Church that spread to the United States and around the world. It is estimated between eight and ten million people have participated in one and two weekend Cursillos worldwide; over 1.5 million in USAmerica alone.19 Today, a number of Protestant denominations and parachurch organizations have their own “versions” of the Cursillo. Some have retained the name Cursillo such as the Episcopalian and Presbyterian Churches, while others have felt a need to distance themselves from the Roman Catholic Church and so changed the name. One of the strongest Protestant Cursillos is the United Methodist Walk to Emmaus.20

So, what is a Cursillo? Even those who have been offering the course for many years have difficulty defining it. It’s one of those ephemeral, can’t quite define what goes on, kind of events. It’s a “God-thing.” Perhaps the best definition comes from the National Cursillo website:

The Cursillo Movement is a movement of the Church which by means of its own method makes it possible for people to live what is fundamental for being a Christian, and to live it together; it helps people discover and fulfill their personal vocations, and it promotes the creation of core groups of Christians who leaven their environments with the Gospel.21

Will the retreat take you off-line for maintenance? Yes. Will it facilitate a surer connection with the Diving Power Grid? Absolutely. Is it worth taking three days and four nights out of your busy schedule? Ask Steve, a pilgrim from the United Methodist Walk to Emmaus.

Steve Necessary is the Vice-President of Video Production for Cox Communications, the largest cable provider in the US (we met him previously in Chaper 3). When I asked him what has most influenced his spiritual practices, he told me about his experience with the Walk.

In 1992 my wife and I went on a Walk to Emmaus Retreat. As it happens, the Emmaus Weekend was a real eye opener – a real life changer. From that point forward, though the journey always continues and always there’s growth, it was like a real quantum leap, a revelation had occurred. And the verse I love to point to that typified my experience is Job 42:5 which says “My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you.” From that point forward, my spiritual life, my emotional life, my business life all became more entwined with each other as opposed to being separated from one another. From that point forward in many different ways I have certainly grown. As a Christian with feet of clay, I’ve had my moments where I’ve not walked with the Lord as I should, but thank God I’m forgiven so I keep moving on from there.

I have continued with the Emmaus Walk Retreats. I have served on one team a year, I have served a little more frequently in some years, but with family and work – it’s a pretty big time commitment. We’re in team meetings right now and I’ll be serving on another walk in October. I’m also active in a reunion group. Three other guys and myself meet pretty much every Friday morning at 6:30 as a kind of accountability group.22

The Walk to Emmaus became a pivotal moment in Steve’s spiritual development. As you can see, it has had a long-term effect on his life, which is a very busy life. But as busy as his life is, he makes it to his weekly accountability group and he believes the Walk was effective enough that he gives significant time to ensure others have the opportunity to experience the connection with God that he has.

Getting involved in a Cursillo is both easy and not-so-easy. First, you will need a sponsor. Sponsors are pilgrims who have completed a Cursillo weekend. Since most of the Cursillo movements are licensed to churches and/or denominations, finding a sponsor may be as easy as asking around your church – if you happen to belong to a denomination that has a licensed Cursillo program. On the other hand, there are a number of unlicensed Cursillo-like retreats offered across the United States; however, non–denominational Cursillos are not as widely available (however, be sure to check some of the local denominational sites – some Cursillos will receive Christians from any background, and others may make exceptions if there are no other regional options). To find a Cursillo retreat in your community, check the following websites:

Worldwide Cursillo and Cursillo–like Directory: http://cursillos.ca/en/liens.htm

National Cursillo Center (Catholic): http://www.natl–cursillo.org/affiliated.html

National Episcopal Cursillo: http://www.episcopalcursillo.org/

Presbyterian Cursillo: http://www.cursillo.com/Find%20Cursillo.htm

Presbyterian Pilgrimages (Cursillo–like): http://www.days3.com/Where.htm

Via de Cristo (Lutheran): http://www.viadecristo.org/palanca/index.htm

Tres Dias (Ecumenical): http://www.tresdias.org/

Walk to Emmaus (United Methodist): http://www.upperroom.org/emmaus/

 

Self-Directed Retreats

Not every retreat taken away from home needs a spiritual director. Equipped with your Bible, a journal, any sacred objects you find meaningful, clothes and toiletries, and a destination, you literally have everything you need for powering down, coming off-line, and allowing the Spirit to effect maintenance and repairs. Here are two different retreat options.

 

Engaging in a Self-Directed Retreat

Takes Significant Time

Solitude Helpful

Not Multi-Task Friendly

Going on a self-directed retreat for a couple of days or longer is an enriching experience. There are a number of options to choose from when you’re literally on-your-own. First, ponder what you want to get out of the retreat. Is there a particular purpose for going? Battling a dark time in your life? Fighting anxiety? Facing a difficult decision? Or is this a time set aside for a general check-up and reconnection with the Spirit? As I pointed out earlier, there are a variety of resources available from books, audio guides, and online resources.

The second decision will be the venue. Will you book a room at a hotel on the beach? A bed and breakfast in the country? A “real” retreat center? Don’t forget that a monastery continues to be an option (and is typically much less expensive than the previous options). And, one of my personal favorites – the camping retreat. For me, there’s something about being really close to nature, whether you carry your gear in a backpack into the wilderness (think desert Abbas and Ammas), or drive your RV to an out-of-the-way campsite. Whichever option you choose, keep in mind the purpose of retreating in the first place. Some of the above options will offer “entertainment” opportunities, such as watching television, sight-seeing, and so on. But a spiritual retreat depends on the Divine breaking through to our hearts in the stillness and austerity of the surroundings. If we succumb to our preference (or dependence) for “noise,” we may find it difficult to hear the Spirit’s voice. When you think retreat-venue, think “getting away.”

The outline for a self–guided retreat away from home follows the same format as the mini-retreat; however, to make the most of your time away create some of your own rules. It can be tempting to sleep until the crack of noon, take frequent breaks, and to spend the evenings out on the town or in front of the TV “after we’re done for the day.” However, I recommend you adopt the same rules you would find in a monastic setting: Silence; Early-to-bed, Early-to-rise; and adherence to a self-imposed horarium such as this outline:

6:30 a.m.–Rise
7:00 a.m.– Morning Prayer & Devotions
8:00 a.m.–Breakfast
8:45 a.m.–Refocus*
Noon–Midday Prayer, Dinner
12:45 p.m.–Refocus*
2:00 p.m.–Mindful Walking
3:00 p.m.–Rest
4:00 p.m.–Recreation (No TV!)
5:30 p.m.–Vespers (Evening Prayer)
6:00 p.m.–Supper
6:45 p.m.–Refocus*
8:30 p.m.–Compline (Night Prayer)
9:00 p.m.–Retire

* Refocusing activities such as scripture reading, Lexio Divina, prayer, mindful walking, journaling, and so on.

 

Divine–Directed Retreat

Takes Signficant Time

Solitude Helpful

Not Multi-Task Friendly

When I set out to write this chapter, I was consulting with Kris, my wife, who helps facilitate retreats around the US at least twice a year. She suggested that I mention God-directed retreats. “Not every retreat needs to be planned. You can just leave it up to how God leads you.”23

However, God–directed retreats are not for the novice. You need to have developed the skills of hearing the voice of God. You will also need to have experience in knowing which of the spiritual habits most effectively take you into the Divine Presence. God-directed retreats tend to be silence-focused and contemplative, so they may not fit into everyone’s personality mix. On the other hand, if you have the needed experience necessary for a God-directed retreat, there is really nothing else like it.

To schedule a God-directed retreat, choose a destination, grab your Bible, journal, sacred objects, clothes and toiletries, and head out. Like the mini-retreat, offer prayers for the space (see the micro-retreat, Psalm 24), get comfortable in your surroundings, and then wait on God’s leading. Kris, who has a great deal of experience in this retreat style, suggests beginning by practicing whatever spiritual habit you regularly engage in that helps you hear the voice of God. She particularly likes to practice Imaging Prayer to get started, since it has the potential to place you directly into the Spirit’s Presence. Whichever habit you practice, listen for the Divine’s urging in how to pray, what scriptures to read, and when to journal. Finally, those who engage in God-directed retreats may find themselves led to journal quite a bit. Besides being a good practice, the process of recording your thoughts and leadings can be beneficial in hearing God’s “next steps” for you in your spiritual journey.

 

The spiritual habit of retreating, in all of its various forms, is a necessary practice for every Practicing Christian. We all need to take a break and to shut down for maintenance and repairs regularly, lest the cares of this world capture and stifle your spirit.


Sparks and Resistance

Questions for Discussion and Reflection

 

 

 

__________________________

1 Cindy Folkers. “Price-Anderson Act: Unnecessary & Irresponsible.” Nuclear Information and Resource Service. October 2001. http://www.nirs.org/factsheets/priceandersonactfactsheet1001.htm.

2 Bernie Krause,“The Loss of Natural Soundscapes,” Earth Island Journal, 17:1 (April 2002), 27.

3 To internalize the ability to say “No!” practice the spiritual habit of fasting in Chapter 6.

4 You can use any other short, meaningful phrase from the scriptures as a breath prayer. Other popular verses include “The Lord is my shepherd...I shall not want” and what is known as the Pilgrim’s Prayer or the Kyrie eleison prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ...have mercy on me, a sinner.”

5 You may use any other meaningful and joyful promise you would like for your reengagement “song.”

6 Edward Hays,St. George and the Dragon and the Quest for the Holy Grail (Norte Dame: Forest of Peace Publishing, 1986), ISBN 0939516071.

7 One of the best can be found on the Creighton University website. “A 34 Week Retreat for Everyday Life.” http://www.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/cmo-retreat.html.

8 Reuben Job and Norman Shawshuck, A Guide to Prayer for Ministers and Other Servants, 2d ed. (Nashville: The Upper Room, 1997), ISBN 0835804607.

9 On subsequent retreats, you may want to read whole epistles (the New Testament letters to the churches), full chapters or larger portions of the Gospels, or other portions from the Bible where you feel particularly led. Alternatively, you may use the Journey Group Bible Reading recommendation for the week.

10 Most Bibles divide chapters into sections for easier reading. These sections are often marked by subtitles or else they are set off by extra spacing that indicates the end of one thought and the beginning of another.

11 Sam Rima, Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership: Workbook (NP/ND), 26.

12 http://www.expandretreats.com has an extensive online list of retreat centers across USAmerica, with a few others scattered around the world.

13 From the first exercise. Ignatius of Loyola, The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, trans. Louis J. Puhl (Chicago: Loyola University Press, 1951), 25.

14 See Chapter 4.

15 From the "Introductory Observations," Ignatius of Loyola, 11.

16 Swenson, 187.

17 Ignatius of Loyola, 9.

18 The Exercises are in the public domain. You can view and print a copy from http://www.jesuit.org/images/docs/915dWg.pdf.

19 “History of Presbyterian Cursillo.”

20 However, even The Walk to Emmaus and most other Cursillos are licensed by the Roman Catholic Church.

21 “The Cursillo Movement: What is it?” National Secretariat, 2004, http://www.natl-cursillo.org/whatis.html.

22 Steve Necessary.

23 Kris Tenny-Brittian, personal conversation.

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